My Technology

Michael O'Leary, CEO of Irish airline Ryanair, poses on a model Ryanair airplane on August 23, 2012.CEO of Ryanair suggests adding a cheap "standing room" section on planesO'Leary: "If there ever was a crash on an aircraft, God forbid, a seat belt won't save you"We presume standing passengers would wedge in the back with livestockEditor's note: Each week in "Apparently This Matters," CNN's Jarrett Bellini applies his warped sensibilities to trending topics in social media and random items of interest on the interwebs.

(CNN) -- About nine years ago I flew Ryanair from London to a town called Maastricht in the southernmost, dangly, uvula-looking part of The Netherlands. I don't remember how much my flight actually cost, but I promise you I've spent more this week alone in the candy machine at work.

Truth be told, I've completely lost all self-control. They keep stocking it with Swedish Fish, and now HR has had to warn me three times about borking in the break room.

"Bork! Bork! Bork!"

"Red light, Jarrett."

"Apparently This Matters" Is Jarrett Bellini's weekly (and somewhat random) look at social-media trends.Anyway, my flight on Ryanair is relevant only in that I have firsthand experience flying with the famous low-cost European carrier whose CEO, Michael O'Leary, started trending on the Web this week after he proclaimed that seat belts on planes "don't matter."

O'Leary told the UK's Daily Telegraph newspaper that "If there ever was a crash on an aircraft, God forbid, a seat belt won't save you."

And he's probably right. When a giant metal tube going 500 mph slams into the side of a mountain, several inches of fabric and a spring-loaded metal clamp aren't going to let you simply walk away feeling like it was all just a minor inconvenience.

"Excuse me, captain. THIS isn't Denver."

But as everyone knows, saving you from a mountain crash isn't really the point of seat belts. They're primarily for turbulence, so that when you hit a patch of rough air somewhere between Erie and Pittsburgh, you don't end up face deep in row 32 with a Biscoff cookie firmly lodged in your skull.

O'Leary's argument against the importance of seat belts stems from his ultimate goal to create "standing room only" cabins for ultra-budget travelers who, we can only presume, would have to uncomfortably mingle in the back with the chickens and other livestock.

In 2003, when I flew Ryanair from London, I was definitely that ultra-budget (i.e. cheap) traveler.

At the time I was doing the whole European backpacker thing. I'd like to say I was out there trying to find myself, sucking the marrow out of life, but, really, I was too busy hitting ineffectively on Australian girls and looking at cathedrals ... and cathedrals .... and cathedrals.

Of course, money was tight, so Ryanair was a welcome resource when trying to fly over to mainland Europe from the UK. Basically, I was then exactly who O'Leary wants to target with these seats now.

To make this dream a reality, he even suggests that his airline, perhaps, remove the back 10 rows to accommodate people willing to stand for a couple hours for as little as £1.

O'Leary told the Telegraph, "If you say to passengers it's £25 for the seat and £1 for the standing cabin, I guarantee we will sell the standing cabin first."

In a lot of ways, it's like paying for the worst section in the bleachers at an undersold baseball game here in the United States. Many people don't actually care where they sit. They just want to be inside the park to drink beer, soak in the sun, and maybe heckle the opposing center fielder.

"Hey, Granderson! You wear rubber pants!"

"Dude, what does that even mean?"

"I have no idea."

But, really, the argument over his plan's merit is a completely pointless conversation since it's probably never going to happen. European safety laws require that passengers wear a seat belt for takeoff and landing.

O'Leary responded to these pesky regulations by calling the authorities a bunch of "plonkers."

So, for comedy alone, you gotta love this O'Leary guy! And at least he's being creative -- if not possibly reckless -- about the future of his industry.

His safety argument is that standing passengers could treat the experience just like riding public transportation on terra firma, grabbing onto hanging straps when things get bumpy. He notes that, for 50 years flying has been "populated by people who think it's this wondrous sexual experience; that it's like James Bond and wonderful and we'll all be flying first class when really it's just a bloody bus with wings."

He's right. It is. Though, personally, I hate everything about flying in the first place, and I've never actually thought of it as a wondrous sexual experience, save for the beginning of every flight, during that singular breathtaking moment in the Delta safety video when their sultry flight attendant softly wags her finger and playfully reminds me that I'm not allowed to smoke.

Oh, you know what I'm talking about.

Bork! Bork! Bork!

November 2, 2012 -- Updated 2142 GMT (0542 HKT) There's a man defecating on my desk. He's Spanish. But, sadly, it's not Rafa Nadal. For surely that might count, then, as an oddly spectacular life moment worth Instagramming.October 27, 2012 -- Updated 1728 GMT (0128 HKT) Look, I'm not saying I'm a cheap bastard. I'm also not saying I'm a soulless ginger. Mind you, both are true. I'm just not saying it. October 19, 2012 -- Updated 1606 GMT (0006 HKT) Just what is McJordan sauce? A long-forgotten leftover from a regional McDonald's promotion for the McJordan burger, celebrating basketball legend Michael Jordan. October 15, 2012 -- Updated 1658 GMT (0058 HKT) For historical comparison, I suppose the closest thing we've ever had to "Gangnam Style" was "Macarena" by Los del Rio. October 9, 2012 -- Updated 1204 GMT (2004 HKT) Essentially, it's a soft, padded tube in which you can bury your entire head to take a nap, so long as you don't mind burying your entire head in a soft, padded tube.September 28, 2012 -- Updated 1430 GMT (2230 HKT) Without question, bacon is the most interesting meat in the world, and if it were capable of original thought, we wouldn't even be having an election this November in America.September 21, 2012 -- Updated 1646 GMT (0046 HKT) For whatever reason, the Internet world seems to be fascinated by fat. Especially when it's a 77-pound dachshund.September 15, 2012 -- Updated 2000 GMT (0400 HKT) When a Colorado man cut out a giant square hole in his living room floor and sunk in a hot tub, it turned his modest bachelor pad into a magnificent poor man's grotto.September 8, 2012 -- Updated 1452 GMT (2252 HKT) What makes the Hug Me jacket so unique is that, despite the lovable name, it sort of looks like you're being abducted from behind by a giant green alien. August 31, 2012 -- Updated 1520 GMT (2320 HKT) Why does 1.3 pounds of whale puke matter? Because the hardened hurl is valued at $63,000 -- and it was discoered by an 8-year-old. . August 17, 2012 -- Updated 1626 GMT (0026 HKT) What happens when you click on Wikipedia's "Random Article" button? Click with caution, and then prepare to waste the next few hours reading random fact after random fact.August 11, 2012 -- Updated 1252 GMT (2052 HKT) Twitter parties are just like any other party: People talk. Strangers mingle. Except there's no guacamole, and if you happen to do a keg stand, it's not because everybody else was doing one. August 3, 2012 -- Updated 1522 GMT (2322 HKT) Why would a Phish song have anything to do with Michael Phelps? Perhaps it's just that the word Phish refers to the way Phelps moves through the water. July 28, 2012 -- Updated 0035 GMT (0835 HKT) Recently, one of the hottest trending articles on BuzzFeed was a picture collection of "The 18 Worst Things For Left-Handed People."July 6, 2012 -- Updated 1335 GMT (2135 HKT) Doink the Clown is an old-school WWE wrestler who just made a blast-from-the-past appearance on "Monday Night Raw." July 13, 2012 -- Updated 1832 GMT (0232 HKT) July 11 was the official 85th birthday of the 7-Eleven convenience store chain, and to celebrate they were giving out free 7.11-ounce Slurpees. June 29, 2012 -- Updated 1507 GMT (2307 HKT) The Kidz Bop people tout their CDs as "today's biggest hits sung by kids for kids," and this particular volume contains a song that may never leave your head.June 29, 2012 -- Updated 1452 GMT (2252 HKT) Apparently morning people don't suffer from social jet lag. But they do miss a lot of "Law and Order."June 22, 2012 -- Updated 1120 GMT (1920 HKT) Somewhere in your city there's something completely unimportant and you should totally go see it. Like Dr. Mario throwing a vitamin.June 29, 2012 -- Updated 1453 GMT (2253 HKT) The web is praising the record-breaking success of Doritos Locos Tacos at Taco Bell, which has now sold more than 100 million crunchy, nacho-cheesy bundles of love.June 29, 2012 -- Updated 1454 GMT (2254 HKT) One HDMI cable. Thirteen hundred dollars. At first, I thought it had to be a simple labeling mistake. But it was real. And people must be buying them.Most popular Tech stories right now

View the original article here

Peliculas Online